I have appreciated many Christian writers on the subject of sex. My favorites are Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, whose writings have influenced me and this program significantly. I had trouble knowing where to credit them as I have taken so much of their writing to heart and think of it as my own. I have appreciated them because I have found again, and again they have it right. They have the correct attitude and write in humility encouraging Christian women to get it right too. I highly recommend any of their books. Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus hold Intimate Issues conferences and the CD set from that conference is also very good and available on their website www.intimateissues.com. The following are book descriptions are from their website.
Intimate Issues - Intimate Issues answers the twenty-one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers–women who you’ll come to know as teachers and friends–Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching, warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts’ advice, you’ll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God’s perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love.
Gift Wrapped by God - Women who have maintained their sexual purity often ask, “Is it really that important for me to wait until I get married?” Meanwhile, single women who have been sexually active mourn the loss of their innocence, wishing they could somehow start again.
Filled with powerful true stories of hope and healing, Gift-Wrapped by God provides compelling emotional and spiritual reasons for choosing God’s path of sexual purity, as well as practical help for following it. Whether women have held onto their sexual innocence, have become prematurely sexually active, or have had their purity taken by force, they can live out every day–-sexually pure and whole.
Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Jody & Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter & Lorraine Pintus
Looking for more romance in your marriage? After five, ten, twenty years of marriage, do you and your spouse still have that spark and chemistry?
A follow-up to the best seller Intimate Issues (Waterbrook Press), this book takes you on a verse-by-verse exploration of the Bible's very own manual on sex and intimacy: The Song of Solomon. The authors show you how this timeless love poem explains that the secret to great sex in marriage begins with a servant heart. This is three books in one: A verse by verse commentary on the Song of Solomon, a marriage application book, and a couples’ Bible Study (in groups or in private).
Lessons 5 and 6 of Exciting True Love focus on the material from Gary Chapman and his books The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate and The Five Love Languages for Singles. I also highly recommend Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship in which he offers hope for every marriage, including those with deep wounds. Because I have found anything I have read of Dr. Chapman’s so helpful, I would recommend any of his books that would be appropriate for a person. You can find them on his website at www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Chip Ingram’s Love, Sex & Lasting Relationships is an excellent book. He talks about Hollywood’s formula for relationships and then he teaches God’s prescription for lasting relationships. This book came to me recommended by a couple of American 25+ year olds, who really liked Chip’s style of communicating as well as what he has to say. I agree.
Dr. Rosenau has written a very practical book. I highly recommend it for married couples. See the following review from Christianbook.com.
A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy by - Douglas E. Rosenau
Reclaim the Bible-based concept of marriage as a satisfying one-flesh relationship. Updated with the latest information this bestselling manual offers the definitive guide to marital intimacy for Christian couples. Trained in psychology and theology, Rosenau answers specific questions and presents detailed techniques for deepening intimate companionship.
For books that deal with issues distinct to or set in Africa:
Fielden and Janet Allison have been teaching and counseling African couples since 1984 and have lived in East Africa since 1972. They have written 2 very good books on marriage and family. They are right on in their thinking and teaching. Their books are interesting and insightful.
An Exciting Marriage: An Answer for AIDS by Fielden and Jane Allison
This good book teaches having fun in marriage and remaining faithful. It clearly discusses what marriage is, and what it is not, discussing some of the misconceptions many people have about marriage. It includes how to court and how to select a mate. This book gives some good rules for communication, talks frankly about sex (unhealthy misconceptions and healthy practices).
I highly recommend this very readable book. It contains chapters dealing with the husband and wife’s roles, money matters, polygamy, as well as communication, raising and disciplining children, and much more.
I found Bruce and Carol Britten’s books while living in Tanzania. I found they addressed many issues that I was frequently asked.
Love and Marriage by Bruce and Carol Britten
When working in Tanzania I found most couples who are thinking about marriage want to know how true their love is. This book is helpful to them because it discusses that and even gives tests to help a couple determine the quality of their love. For example the second test is: “Do I want to spend my whole life with him/her even if his/her habits never change?” The latter part of the book on the Holy Spirit, while I agree with it, will not be for everyone.
Answers for Your Marriage by Bruce and Carol Britten
(Also available in Kiswahili)
This easy–to-read book talks about both communication and sex in that order, because to have great sex, a couple needs to learn how to communicate. Bruce and Carol teach married couples about different levels of communication and give good insight on how to start talking. They answer clearly and frankly many questions couples might have about marriage and sex. They give ideas about love making as well as how to have the right atmosphere of love for a home. They also discuss thoroughly how to use natural family planning, a good way for many people to limit their family size or to help conceive a child. One of the few areas in which I disagree with them, and certainly a minor area, is their belief it is the best contraceptive for everyone.
You don’t need to be having conflicts in your marriage to learn from Rev. Dr. Sammy Gitaari’s small book, Resolving Conflicts in Marriage. There is a lot of wisdom packed in the 61 pages of this book and I highly recommend it for anyone who finds reading a chore but wants to learn more about marriage.
© Exciting True Love 2009