Lesson 10

       Love Always Hopes

Receiving God's Purity and Power

Notes (The full text for the lesson)


What fantastic truths we have learned these past weeks on Exciting True Love: The Truth Will Set You Free. God wanting a husband not only to be satisfied forever with his sexual relationship with his wife but rejoicing in her. A husband who loves his wife, who brings her happiness and thinks of her sexual needs, bringing her enjoyment and fulfillment.  The Bible has taught us that all this is pure and good. Kujamiiana katika ndoa ni tendo takatifu!



Through these sessions, we have been learning the truth. That is so important. Because we are receiving wrong messages about sex every day and we need to get our thinking so that it aligns with God’s Word.


Listen to Romans 12:2 in the Bible:

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

To not conform to this world, we must recognize and get rid of lies that we have believed.


For example: if you believed that sex outside of marriage was bound to be more fun than sex within a marriage can be, I hope that you have gotten rid of that lie like I have. I hope that you have replaced that lie with the truth that sex outside of a marriage does not have the potential to ever be as great and satisfying as sex between a husband and wife can be. Because God did not create it that way. If you missed our earlier sessions and are wondering why we can say this, go to  www.excitingtruelove.org where this complete series is available free.


Another lie is that a man cannot abstain from sex. The truth is that your body was not made for sex outside of marriage. God says

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality”  in 1 Cor 6:13.

Since God made us, why would he have created our bodies to need something that is sin? That would be against God’s character.


There is also the lie that God will not want to forgive us for our sexual sin – that he has given up on us. It also is not true. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:2  that for the joy set before him, Jesus endured the cross. See Jesus endured the pain and shame of dying on a cross, for the joy that his death allowed us to be forgiven and  reunited with him and the father and the Holy Spirit! God has not given up on us. He wants to forgive us. It is in joy that he cleanses us and helps us learn new ways of behaving.


When you believe the truth, you are renewing your mind, and according to the scripture in Romans 12:2 you will be transformed.  We want to be changed! So let’s confront those lies and replace them with the truth. Every time we are presented with ideas about sex, let’s compare them with the truth in God’s Word. There is a promise with that verse in Romans 12:2. After not conforming to the world and being transformed by renewing our minds, the Bible says, “Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” That’s cool.


If I have sinned, if God has shown me where I am making a mistake, I want to turn from that sin and be sorry for it, knowing that God will forgive me,  that he can help me change, that I’m not stuck in that sin. He says in Jeremiah 3:22 ,

"Return, faithless people;

I will cure you of backsliding

God’s going to cure it, heal it. We just have to be obedient. But first we must return to God by turning from our sin and asking for forgiveness.


Often times, though, we do not want to go to God because we think he might get angry with us, we think he is going to be ashamed of us, or that he will tell us off us like a headmaster, saying something like, “Didn’t I forgive you for this last week? You’ll never change!”


But the truth is, God knows we can change. We can go to Him, wanting to change our lives, saying sorry for the things we have done wrong.


Then God will teach us to walk in good and righteous ways. It is possible that we will stumble, but when we are sorry and turn again from those ways, our Lord will again forgive us, and train us to walk in His ways. Sometimes we change instantly but more often it is a training process - moment by moment learning to choose God’s ways. Because of who God is, He will change us. God will cure us of backsliding.


Go to him, when you are sorry for what you have done. He will forgive you and lift you up. He has done it before with the immoral woman recorded in Luke 7 in the Bible. This woman was judged by everyone around her as a repulsive, disgusting woman, dirty with sexual sin. Read about her in Luke 7:36-50. She is the woman who wanted to change from her immoral life and came to Jesus, crying at his feet, washing his feet with her tears and perfume. Not only did Jesus forgive her but he praised her to the religious leaders who were condemning her. He knew that she could change even if those religious leaders didn’t know it.


When we repent, God cleans us from all badness. There is no stain left. God forgives, redeems and heals. Sexual immorality that is forgiven, God will redeem. Our sexual relationship in marriage does not have to be negatively affected by our sin from sex before we were married. If we want to change from having sex before we are married, we need to be sorry before God and let him forgive, heal and redeem it.   We do not become virgins again, but we can become sexually pure and healed emotionally, just like that woman who came to Jesus in Luke chapter 7.


So we are forgiven but we still have sexual temptations and desires that can cause us to sin.


And that brings us to another lie  -  that a person cannot resist temptation. If Jesus is your friend, then with his help you can resist temptation.  In 2 Peter 1:3-4 we know that through His power God has given us everything we need to live a godly life and escape sin. And God even tells us how to deal with temptation. In James 4:7 he says

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


So, when we are tempted and start thinking sexually about someone we are not married to,

We want to immediately turn from it.

confess those thoughts as sin,

submit ourselves to God. Saying, “ Lord, I’m going to be obedient to you. Through the power you have given me, I’m not going to sin by thinking those thoughts.”

that’s resisting the Devil

Then we must replace those thoughts with pure thoughts. I have found that my empty mind will go right back to the bad thoughts I had before I confessed the sin.

So I plan, now, pure thoughts that I can be thinking about when I resist temptation. You might think about a project at work, what you’ll cook for dinner, or a Bible verse you are memorizing. Copy one that is relevant to your usual temptations and carry it in your pocket.  Example – When Neema was having difficulty with her husband, she was attracted to a man who was kind to her. She entertained thoughts of what it would be like to be married to him. After she confessed that sin, she replaced the thought of that man with the truth that God hates divorce found in Malachi 2 in the Bible.

Married people can replace sinful sexual thoughts with good, holy thoughts of our husband/ our wife - thoughts about their body, how it feels to be touched by them. Or we can think about how we can show love and kindness to our spouse today.

Then we will be able to stand against that temptation!! But we must all be prepared. This training can start when we are young – when we first start being tempted. Sexual temptation continues after we are married, all our lives, I expect. But we learn how to deal with it and each time we are confronted with sexual temptation, we have a chance to resist and glorify our Lord.


Listen to some of the measures that Jesus suggests for dealing with temptation. Matt 5:27-32 says,

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.


The Lord thinks that some pretty serious measures are in order to control any behaviour that might be leading you to a sexual relationship with someone you are not married to.

Is getting rid of your computer when you have the habit of viewing sexual pictures or

is ending a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, when you keep having sex, worse than gouging out your eye?

Is stopping your habit of going to clubs where you keep picking up phone numbers of people to get together later for sex, more serious than cutting off you right hand?

If you have fallen and had sex with a neighbor, do what is necessary so it does not happen again. Do not visit them, or invite them in. Do not even do innocent things like have tea together. If you need to, move away. If necessary quit your job if you live where you work. Is that not what Jesus is saying in cutting off your right hand to escape sexual sin?

Even if you are the best voice in the choir, wouldn’t it be better to quit the choir than to continue talking with that one person who gets your blood boiling sexually?

Adultery and lustful thoughts are serious to God. So is sex before one is married.

If a person is likely to be tempted to sin while drinking alcohol, do you suppose they ought to stop drinking alcohol and stop going to the bars??

Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” It’s serious business.

If you wear clothes in public that show your body in a way that should be shown only to your spouse, do you suppose you ought to get rid of those clothes.

No matter what the cost, what serious actions do you need to take in order to stop behaviour that is leading you into sin?



In general, we do not want to set ourselves up for failure. If we are likely to be tempted, we want to change the situation so we can avoid the temptation

Let’s keep the computer in the sitting room, some place where lots of people are, so that we are less tempted to view sexually exciting images.

Married women -Avoid those things that cause you to compare your husband unfavorably to another man. For example, avoid movies and books that cause you to think less of your husband. Do not listen to friends or family that like to complain about your spouse.

If we are married and we find someone else very attractive, we avoid meeting them. We definitely avoid traveling with them, praying with them or being alone with them. See, we want to avoid temptation. We want to get that person out of our mind, and put our husband/our wife back into that position as the one we are attracted to above all others.

Any time that you can not get your thoughts under control about someone you are not married to do not spend any time with them.

If a person has sinful sexual thoughts about someone, they should not meet with that person to tell them and definitely not to pray with them. How much wiser to stay silent with this person about your thoughts and feelings? It’s so much better to speak to God about it. Tell him everything, confess the sin of these thoughts and ask for forgiveness. Fast if you need to. It would be fine to tell a trusted friend of the same sex who could pray with you, but do not involve the person you are attracted to. If it is so hard to control your thoughts, how much harder is it to control yourself when your are actually with the person! Do not fall into the trap that the enemy is making for you by creating a closer relationship with that person.

If you are engaged to be married, your mind is going to be starting to think about sex with your fiancé. Hold yourself back.  Do not lead this one you love into sin. Flee from temptation when you need to. Make sure you are never alone together. Focus on getting to know each other, growing deeper in your friendship rather than focusing on your bodies and your sexual desires.

Plan activities together. Keep yourselves busy. If you have gotten to know each other well, move your wedding date closer. When a couple is ready to be married, it does not show kindness or love for the couple when family and friends delay the marriage to gather money for an expensive wedding or send-off.

If ever you are in a situation that is getting heated up sexually, where the temptation to have sex with someone you are not married to is strong, decide now, that you will flee. No matter what the embarrassment that you will leave that place quickly.

The Old Testament tells of Joseph fleeing from Pontifer’s wife – she wanted to have sex with him and grabbed his clothes but he ran naked to flee the sin. That’s right behaviour. Do what we need to do to flee the temptation, even if others will wonder about us.


When we fail, though. Jesus is ready to forgive, redeem and heal, when we come to him wanting to change, sorry for what we have done He doesn’t want you fighting this battle on your own. He’s willing to send his Spirit to live inside of you to teach and guide you moment by moment. Then through his power you will be able to live a better life. You can ask Jesus to be your saviour today. Then ask God to show you someone who knows Jesus so they can help you know Him better.


Sexual sin is very hard to overcome. It is often a challenge and like a long distance race. Jesus knows that. He knows your struggle.


When speaking to people who had just believed in him, Jesus said and it is recorded in John 8:31-32 in the Bible, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  Please pray with me:

 Lord, We desire to hold onto your teachings but we are weak and we can not do it on our own. By your grace, through your power, help us to hold on to your teachings, and continue to hold, and when our arms are weak, please will you help us still to hold on; so that we might know the truth and be set free. In Jesus name we pray, Amen



This concludes our 10 session series Exciting True Love: The Truth Will Set You Free with Nancy Crane. If you have missed any sessions, please visit our website at www.excitingtruelove.org  , one word.  This work is not the result of 1 person but many. Joy Borman has been the producer, William Scott technical producer, Jordan Joseck, Fiona Richardson and Matilda Dondo are major consultants, and the writings of many Christian authors have influenced me, foremost Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus.

We give all the glory and honor to the Lord as it is through Him that we accomplish change in our lives and encourage others to do the same.


May our Lord teach us and may we grow more and more like of his Son, Jesus.



Rounded Rectangle: 2. Love never fails.       Giving lifelong love
Rounded Rectangle: 1. Love comes from God. Gods gift to us
Rounded Rectangle: 4. Love rejoices in the truth. Giving pleasure
Rounded Rectangle: 5. Love is patient.            Giving and forgiving
Rounded Rectangle: 6. Love is kind.              Giving love in action
Rounded Rectangle: 7. Love as Christ loved. Giving as Christ gave
Rounded Rectangle: 9. Love does not delight in evil. Giving ourselves
Rounded Rectangle: 8. Love is not self seeking. Giving our bodies
Rounded Rectangle: 10. Love always hopes. Receiving God’s purity and power
Rounded Rectangle: 3. Love does not delight in evil. Giving ourselves

Love Always Hopes                Receiving God's Purity and Power

Romans 12: Having a renewed mind; coming to God for forgiveness and using His strategies for resisting the devil.

Romans 12:2,    1 Cor 6:13,         Hebrews 12:2,                  Jeremiah 3:22,                 Luke 7:36-50,                                

2 Peter 1:3-4,    James 4:7,         Malachi 2:16,                   Matt 5:27-32,                   John 8:31-32

On this page:

· Bible Verses

· Full text






Bible Verses

Romans 12:2 (New International Version)

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.


1 Cor 6:13 (New International Version)

13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.


Hebrews 12:2  (New International Version)

2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


Jeremiah 3:22 (New International Version)

"Return, faithless people;

I will cure you of backsliding


Luke 7:36-50 (New International Version)

36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

 39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

 40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
      "Tell me, teacher," he said.

 41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

 43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
      "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

 44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

 48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

 49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

 50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."


2 Peter 1:3-4 (New International Version)

 3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.


James 4:7 (New International Version)

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


Malachi 2:16 (New International Version)

 16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
      So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.


Matt 5:27-32 (New International Version)

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.


John 8:31-32 (New International Version)

 "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

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