Love Rejoices in the Truth
Notes (The full text for the lesson)
Welcome to Exciting True Love: The Truth Will Set You Free. These past weeks we have studied God’s design for sex by looking at the Word of God. In particular we studied Genesis chapter 2, Proverbs chapter 5, and Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 5 in the Bible – to get some ideas of God’s design for the sexual relationship between a husband and wife (kujamiiana katika ndoa in Kiswahili).
We have found that God created sex and all the touching that surrounds that for a husband and wife to enjoy. That he created it without shame and without sin – that for a husband and wife to delight and enjoy kujamiiana katika ndoa, the sexual times with each other is not sinful and not shameful, but even blessed, we’ll see today.
We also realized that God’s will is that a husband be always rejoicing in his wife, her body, and their sexual relationship. This is not for just a few years of their marriage but for ALWAYS. We read in the Word of God:
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love. [Proverbs chapter 5 verse 19]
If this isn’t true in someone’s marriage, they can ask God for help. God will work through them to change them to achieve this, as much as they are willing to allow God to work in their life.
We learned that God wants a husband to bring happiness to his wife – sexually and otherwise. A husband should look for ways to make his wife happy, and do it. For example, he can come home early and stay home. When he comes home, he can be careful not to complain, but instead make his homecoming a pleasant experience for the family. He can encourage the children. He can sit with his wife, talking about his day, sharing his hopes and disappointments with her, and listening to her talk. He also needs to bring his wife sexual enjoyment and this is very important to God. Today’s study will give you some ideas, men.
Today, on Exciting True Love: The Truth Will Set You Free we are going to the Bible, Chapter 4 of Song of Songs. What we will be reading will be the talk between a husband and his wife during their sexual time. It is important to notice the freedom this husband and wife feel with each other. This wife doesn’t have her kanga tied tightly around her, top to toe, and this husband is comfortable with praising his wife from his heart.
So the husband says to his wife, -now we are reading from God’s Word in Song of Songs chapter 4:
“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!”
Men, your wives need to hear this. We long to hear this – from our husbands. When we hear it often from them, we stand tall and we feel confident in ourselves. And if another man at the bus or office looks at us and says, “You look really good to me,” what does it matter to us? We know our husband thinks we are beautiful and that is all that matters. Hearing this often from our husband, we are protected from the comments of other men.
So the husband, as we read in the Bible, says to his wife:
“How beautiful you are my darling! Oh, how beautiful!”
He said it once and then he said it again! It’s important.
Then this loving husband admires his wife’s eyes:
“Your eyes behind your veil are doves”
He continues going down her body, and we can imagine, as he is speaking to his wife that he is touching, caressing each part of her body that he is speaking about.
“Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing, each has its twin, not one of them is alone.”
Her mouth must be open, smiling at him, enjoying what he is saying.
“Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely”
Can’t you just imagine him touching them?
Then, he describes her neck…He’s going from her head right down her body, telling her what he likes about each part of her body, caressing it as he does so.
Verse 5 of Song of Songs chapter 4 in the Bible reads
“Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.”
Wow – he’s looking at his wife’s breasts and I can imagine he’s gently touching them. He’s a thoughtful husband, so I can imagine, that he’s noticing just what makes his wife feel good and stopping what doesn’t give pleasure to his wife. After all, he knows the law written in the Bible in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 5 that says he’s supposed to bring happiness to his wife! He’s doing just that as he admires and caresses her body.
In verse 7 of Song of Songs in the Bible, the husband says to his wife
“All beautiful you are, my darling;
There is no flaw in you.”
Now, we know that there had to have been a flaw or imperfection in his wife because sin was in the world then. But this husband chose not to look at it. He chose not to focus on that but to focus on her beauty and chose to see her that way.
I have read two different ideas about the next verse that begins
“Come away with me”
– either the husband is gently encouraging his wife to come to her new home, away from dangers, or this husband is inviting his wife to take a holiday with him, to go away together. Just the two of them, I imagine, because he invites her while they are enjoying each other’s bodies – to go away to a place that would delight his wife. Either interpretation is lovely. Then this husband goes back to admiring his wife. We are reading from the book of the Bible called the Song of Songs verse 10:
“How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!”
These are the special names he has for his wife. It’s a sweet thing when a husband has special names for his wife – it’s something more that indicates closeness, doesn’t it? In calling his wife “my sister”, this husband is saying his relationship to his wife is so close that it is like they are blood related, like a sister is.
He goes on to say to his wife,
“How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
And the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!”
To this husband, the perfume of his wife’s body is more pleasing than any spice! If we can, we want to shower and wash with soap before our times of sexual fun. But as a woman’s body is admired and touched by her husband, her body produces fluids and fragrances. This husband says, “How much more pleasing that fragrance is than any spice!”
“Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue.”
Some very wet, open-mouthed kissing is happening between this husband and his wife.
He ends with verse 15 in chapter 4 of Song of Songs:
“You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.”
Wow, this husband was free to praise his wife, to delight in how special she is.
Now just in case you think the wife is embarrassed by all this, ashamed of this love making (kujamiiana katika ndoa), hoping her husband would just get it over with, listen to how she responds to him. She says to her husband in verse 16 of Song of Songs in the Holy Bible:
“Awake north wind, and come south wind!
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad.
Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.”
Waa! That is inviting! What husband wouldn’t like his wife to respond like that? Perhaps you are married and you can’t imagine ever saying these things to your husband or to praise your wife like this man did in Song of Songs. Let me tell you, you can just quote these scriptures to your spouse! It may become your husband or wife’s favorite verses!
As we read God’s word today, did you hear the freedom this married couple felt in giving and receiving sexual pleasure from each other? I notice the wife’s free abandon to enjoy the admiration and caressing of her husband. I don’t get the idea that this wife is thinking, “Oh, you shouldn’t do that.”
I agree with the Christian author, Kevin Leman, who wrote:
“As far as Christianity goes, the sexual experience between a husband and wife is virtually unlimited in its creativity and pleasure.”
When we are married, we have freedom in our sexual relationship with our husband, with our wife. God created sex and all the caressing and touching that goes along with it for a husband and wife to delight in.
This husband and wife have all this fun leading up to having sex and then they have sex. In chapter 5 verse 1 of Song of Songs in the Bible we have the husband stating this in poetic words, comparing their sexual experience with eating and drinking.
“I have come into my garden, my sister my bride”
-He uses her special names again-
“I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey;
I have drunk my wine and my milk.”
[sigh] It’s good. They have enjoyed themselves.
Now, sometimes we think that this sexual fun and pleasure for a married couple needs to be fitted in after every other chore is done, in their free time – late at night, or early in the morning, and if we can squeeze a little time in the middle of the day, when the children are all gone, then we’d better hurry and then get onto something “more important”, we think.
In case we feel after we have had sexual enjoyment with our spouse that God might say to us, “Oh, that was good, yes, I bless it, but, up, up, up now. There’s important work to be done. This neighbor needs help, she is a widow, is sick and her four children need some food.” or, “Enough sex now, you need to be out there sharing the gospel – important work.”
Now, in case this is what you feel, listen to how our God responds to the husband and wife that we have just been reading about in Song of Songs. In Chapter 5:1, our God says to the couple who just finished a wonderful time of making love (kujamiiana katika ndoa):
“Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.”
God blesses what they have just done. Lie there, enjoy the afterglow of your sexual experience, continue in what feels good to you, He’s saying.
Our God feels that the love making, the sexual fun that a husband and wife have is good, should be delighted in. That it is important.
Now we know that our children can interrupt us and we have to take care of them, but we can come back to our bedrooms and continue enjoying our spouse. I wish our culture was such that we could put a sign out that says, “Do not disturb us. We are doing important business.” Then our neighbors would know not to “Hodi, hodi”, wouldn’t they? Maybe someday we’ll be so unashamed about our sexual relationship with our spouse that we can tell others not to disturb us.
Let’s recount what we have learned today:
1. That God isn’t the least bit ashamed of the sexual pleasures between a husband and wife. We saw how clearly He describes them in His Word, the Bible.
2. We saw how God blessed their sexual relationship, saying “drink your fill” of it.
3. We saw the tenderness and slowness that this husband approached his wife – admiring her and caressing her, preparing her body before entering it.
We also saw the freedom this husband and wife felt together. They didn’t feel a need to hold back from each other. They knew that God created sex for a husband and wife to enjoy.
If you are married, may you believe these truths about your sexual relationship with your husband, your wife. If you aren’t married, I pray that you will align your thinking with God’s as well, so that you will be encouraged to wait for marriage to enjoy sex and all that surrounds sex. That way you can enjoy it to its fullest.
What we studied today on Exciting True Love – The Truth Will Set You Free in the Bible in the fourth Chapter of Song of Songs was the hot, steamy, erotic sexual interaction between a husband and wife. God writes it, without shame, in His Holy Book. He isn’t ashamed of the sexual relationship between a husband and wife. HE created it. He created it for them to enjoy. He gives them freedom to delight in the pleasures of sex with each other.
Join me, Nancy Crane, next week on Exciting True Love to learn to delight your spouse with love.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
14 nard and saffron,
15 You are a garden fountain,
16 Awake, north wind,
Song of Solomon 5
1 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;
Eat, O friends, and drink;
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1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
6 Until the day breaks
7 All beautiful you are, my darling;
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
© Exciting True Love 2009